4.07.2006

MLB Extra Innings = Baseball Heaven

For those who have fantasy teams (and no life), MLB Extra Innings is awesome. Already this week, I have watched games from Anaheim, Texas, San Diego, Los Angeles, Milwaukee, Toronto, Seattle, Houston, Oakland, New York, Baltimore, Philadelphia and Colorado. I feel that this is even impressive considering that my cable was out on monday night and that I actually atended work on these days. Had I been a good baseball fan and blown off work, I could have added 2 more cities to this list.

To illustrate the greatness that is Extra Innings, tonight Shaun and I have the great Seattle-Oakland tilt to look forward to. Why are the two of us excited about this game? Because he owns Felix Hernandez (SEA) and I own Joe Blanton (OAK) in York's fantasy league. This will of course ensure that Shaun and I will ruin our friendship and come to blows over the outcome of tonight's game, and that Josh will get drunk. Wait, Josh getting drunk has nothing to do with this game, yet it is a forgone conclusion nonetheless.

Things I Have Learned in my First Two Days of Extra Innings:

  • I hate my fantasy team. This means I will finish in the money.
  • I would rather have a team of fun guys I like and finish last than hate my team.
  • Milwaukee fans bring cardboard horseheads to the game. Why? They're drunk.
  • The YES announcers are GOD-AWFUL! (not a shock to anyone)
  • Shaun said "Break Up the Marlins" on the second day of the season
  • Tim Wakefield's catcher is horrid, which will be hilarious to watch all season
  • I will now watch EVERY Wakefield and R.A. Dickey start the rest of the year
  • Josh getting drunk and "exercising" is hilarious... on many levels
  • Trying to actually watch an Arizona v. Colorado game WILL make your eyes bleed
  • Hearing Vin Scully call Dodgers games alone is worth the price of Extra Innings
  • Shaun had his ticket to hell punched after saying that he hates Vin Scully
  • Geoff Jenkins and Carlos Lee are lockermates. Brewers annoucers suck.
  • Prince Fielder is Rob Deer without the contact...and I love it.
  • Prince Fielder is on pace for 378 K's and is my new favorite player
  • I own Shaun in RBI Baseball. In related news, Pee Wee Reese will ruin your life
  • Fantasy baseball will make friends fight each about how much Tim Hudson sucks
  • Fantasy baseball will make Shaun pound tables and say that Brett Myers sucks
  • Shaun's "Brett Myers" statement would have been better if he'd pounded his shoe on the table and proclaimed that "Brett Myers sucks! We will bury you!" and then drank some vodka
  • According to the YES announcers, the Yankees have not had one decent left-handed starting pitcher between Randy Johnson and Whitey Ford
For the next 180 days, whenever I get off work and think to myself "What am I going to do tonight..." instead of doing something productive like laundry, cleaning, or reading (hah!), I can be all like "Eff a bunch of boring crap, the Devil Rays and Orioles are on! Daniel Cabrera going for Baltimore tonight? And I've got Jay Gibbons and Johnny Gomes playing outfield! This is awesome!"

On second thought, someone schedule an intervention... after reading that last sentence, Extra Innings is going to ruin my life.

1 comment:

hazelwood's most wanted said...

-rickie weeks and david eckstein work out together in the offseason.

-two players are confirmed to be wearing #77 this year.

-my fantasy results this year weight heavily on the production of the tigers and marlins' offense. by the way, chris shelton is the 2nd best fantasy player as of this moment.

-jah slowness buying 25% off steaks will make my stomach hurt for about 16 hours.