9.26.2006

Top 20 'Whitest' and 'Blackest' Names

From our friends at ABC News, we get the 20 first names that are the "whitest" or "blackest." Since it comes from The Liberal Media (tm), they try to spin it with a story about how companies don't hire people with "black" names, blah blah blah, whatever. I just like instances of overt racism so I wanted to post this here. Why yes, I AM trying to set a record for most insensitive posts in one week, thank you very much. Good thing Kanye West doesn't read this blog or he might say that I don't care about black people.

20 "Whitest" Girl Names

Molly, Amy, Claire, Emily, Katie, Madeline, Katelyn, Emma, Abigail, Carly, Jenna, Heather, Katherine, Caitlin, Kaitlin, Holly, Allison, Kaitlyn, Hannah, Kathryn

20 "Blackest" Girl Names

Imani, Ebony, Shanice, Aaliyah, Precious, Nia, Deja, Diamond, Asia, Aliyah, Jada, Tierra, Tiara, Kiara, Jazmine, Jasmin, Jazmin, Jasmine, Alexus, Raven

20 "Whitest" Boy Names

Jake, Connor, Tanner, Wyatt, Cody, Dustin, Luke, Jack, Scott, Logan, Cole, Lucas, Bradley, Jacob, Garrett, Dylan, Maxwell, Hunter, Brett, Colin

20 "Blackest" Boy Names

DeShawn, DeAndre, Marquis, Darnell, Terrell, Malik, Trevon, Tyrone, Willie, Dominique, Demetrius, Reginald, Jamal, Maurice, Jalen, Darius, Xavier, Terrance, Andre, Darryl

I find it amusing that the white girl list has 4 derivatives of Katelyn, Caitlin, Kaitlin, and Kaitlyn while the black girl list has 4 derivatives of Jazmine, Jasmin, Jazmin, and Jasmine. This proves that both white and black parents cannot spell.

Notice that at least half of the black girl's names guarantee them employment at the local "gentleman's club," while most of the white girl list sounds like roll call from a London finishing school.

The white boy list sounds like the cowpokes from the OK Corral, while almost every name on the black boy list can be found in the NFL.

Still trying to figure out why Asia sounds black; it sounds asian to me. I don't know any Chinese people named Africa.

I would like to point out that 2 names that Dave Chapelle has used in his skits appear, one in each list: Tyrone and Dylan, Dylan, Dylan, Dylan, and Dylan (I spit hot fire).

Alexus, Xavier, Willie (William?), Reginald, Darryl, and Terrance (Terry?) have never struck me as only black names.

If I had a daughter, I would name her "Ebony." That way her song would be "Ebony and Irony."

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