Seven Items That Will Make You The Smart Person at Work

It's that time of the week to gets your smarts so you can move up from the fries to the drive thru.

1). The NHL playoffs began last week, which means playoff beards and sweet mullets. Remember this name; George Parros. Boy George sports one of the sweeter mullet/mustache combos ever to hit God's green Earth. It's part Mulltalica mullet/part 70's porn. Oh, and the playoffs are on this channel called 'Versus'. The same channel that schlups the Mountain West Conference (exclusively on Versus...YEAH!!), PBR (not Pabst- Pro Bull Riding), and shitty boxing. One plus is they kicked the tires on Jack Edwards, who is hands down the best hockey studio man in the biz.

2). Sunday was Jackie Robinson Day. The entire Cardinals team wore '42' jerseys. Like Mike Shannon isn't confused/drunk enough during a regular game.

3). Some guy nicknamed "White Tyson" beat the shit out of this big Russian dude (Ruslan Chagaev and Nikolai Valuev). Big Russian dude was the champ, and 7 foot tall. The fight was basically a real life 'Punch Out'. "White Tyson" used the Mac theory on Soda Popinski (counter the uppercuts).

4). Pope Benedict turned 80 on Sunday. Everyone remembers that white smoke means we have a new pope right? Ok, remember that by September. It's the 'Big Head Pick to Click'.

5). Steffi Graf got hit in the grill with a tennis racket...by her husband Andre Agassi! Andre "accidentally" busted Steffi in the lip at a fundraiser. Steffi needed three stiches, and Andre needs a new swing coach. Which leads to only one question; "Is Andre Agassi gonna have to smack a bitch?". Don't mess with Andre.

6). With a bad TV watching Sunday night, On the 'I Love New York Reunion Show', Tango pulled the hat trick, and dumped New York's ass on TV for the third time. He said that New York made fun of his momma, so she had to go. Afterwards, my girlfriend gave me my balls back.

7). Chicago got the U.S. bid for the 2016 Summer Olympics. When the U.S. Men's Basketball team shows up, it will give Chi-town just another overrated team ready to implode. The final picks by the International Olympic people will be in '09.